Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice
but falling in love with you I had no control over.
Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate.
In January this year a friend of mine was telling me about his sister's marriage and how her husband had been cheating etc... He said that he has a profile on the dating site Plenty of Fish. He asked if I could search and try to find it. So I created a fake account with a fake name and went to work. After a few hours I was getting bored so I thought I would check out who was on this site from our area. I found a few people on there I knew, some were truthful, so were NOT. Then I tripped over this profile of a man. It totally got my attention. I read it a few times. I had no idea who this person was, but for the life of me I couldn't figure out what he was doing on this site for one and how on earth he was single I couldn't fathom. I read over the profile a couple time and went on with my day.
I got home from work that night and I couldn't get this stupid profile out of my head. So I went back on and reread it for the tenth time. Before I knew I had sent him a message. I wish I could remember what I said. He responded to my message after a few days. It direct and somewhat business like. At the end he said "PERHAPS we will chat again" The end of the email reeked of arrogance to me, but still there was something that was so incredibly intriguing. I responded yet again. By the second message back and forth he gave me his hot mail address and informed me that he checks that more frequently. In this message he asked me if I am a judgemental person, and of course I strongly believe I am not. So he and I debated this topic for a good week back and forth.
Since then we have chatted occasionally back and forth through email and msn messenger. Not once did I ever believe he was the least bit interested in me. He never hinted in that direction or made any suggestion of getting together or meeting. I developed a crush on this faceless man, but knowing he wasn't interested kept me at a very safe distance and I just enjoyed our chats.
Then in July I added him to my facebook, and the emails and chat became more and more frequent. We talked about everything and anything. He had me thinking on many different occasions. Like Here. I never sugar coated my life in anyway. I was blunt and very honest about my past and present. Again I was under the impression he had no interest in me, so I had nothing to lose and besides it was great to have a males unbias perspective.
By August we found ourselves up late hours of the night still chatting. We could talk about anything. One evening we were talking about the dynamics of dating as single parents and how difficult it is. I told him that it isn't really dating just company so he asked if I would like to keep him company one evening. Of course I said I would love to. This was the only time I thought maybe he just might be interested, but then again it was just company, we did both talk of not wanting any kind of relationship. We eventually made plans to meet on a Friday night for sushi. August 14th was the big day after 8 months of Internet correspondence only. I was very nervous. Wednesday night before the sushi date was to happen we were sitting in our homes chatting away on the computer when he asked if I would like to come over and hang out. It was midnight, and I was in my pj's laying on my bed, but I thought why not, it might help with the nerves.
I showed up at his house just after midnight in my PJ's, no makeup etc... I brought along a movie I had just downloaded. He put in the movie, but we never really watched it, we talked and talked. After a few hours he leaned over and kissed me, and at that second I thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest. He is so sensual. I had no intention on sleeping with this man anytime in the near future. I really liked him and did not want him to think I was cheap and easy, BUT.... the next thing you know we are in bed together. It was amazing. First time sex is never amazing for me, it is usually awkward, uncomfortable, nerve racking, and not all that satisfying. This was NOT the case for me this time.
I was really disappointed with myself for having sex with him. I worried he wouldn't want to see me again etc... The mind games were hard for the first week or so, but since then that everything has fallen into place. He is unbelievable if I were to design a perfect man for me, he would be it. Since that night we have spent a great deal of time together. We have met each others children. We have shared many meals, been out kayaking, out with friends, and to a work party. I am starting to feel that we are a couple. I have feelings for this man I didn't think I was capable of having for any man. Although I am scared to death I am very excited all at the same time.
His precious son Austin
A kayaking date
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