Trapped!!!!

Trapped in my head,

trying to escape memories of a life I once had.

Fear of confronting my worst pain,

fear of face to face that day I’m sure to go insane.

Hatred built up for so long,

guilty of life lived so wrong.

A day without remembrance will never pass,

a day for death will always last.

Emotion filled with the words I write,

cold chills down my spine with a blurry sight.

Once a young mind twisted with sinful lust,

Now an adult my mind is totally cluttered.

I wish so much I could at very least write down some of the clutter in my mind. It has become impossible to draw the simplest breath. It is way to much for me to handle right now. Everyday is a challenge. I just keep putting the one front in front of the other. Try hard not to gie it too much thought. Why after all these years has this effected me in the way it has, and why can't I just let it go.

Being that I am emotional eater, I am now struggling with that as well. I have been put on a few pounds here and there since Rene passed. UGH!!